Virgin on absurd, Tony
by Virginia Haussegger
The Canberra Times, 30 Jan 2010
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- Virginia Haussegger
- Canberra, ACT, Australia
- Virginia Haussegger is a journalist, author, media commentator and TV News Presenter in Canberra, Australia. She writes a weekly column for The Canberra Times, and is syndicated on The National Times, The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald online.
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The Comment below was sent to me from a reader. I have not included the writer's name.
ReplyDeleteDear Virginia,
Reading your piece on virginity it seems that you just can’t help yourself and are intent on rejecting the truth and betraying women once again. The problem with the virginity debate is really the nonsensical language and understanding of what virginity means. In fact it is true that it is not only women but men also who should remain virgins if they are to realize their fully utilize their capabilities, but his is a more abstract effects and the website below might be of more use in understanding the effect on men. For women, subconsciously, sex results in a somatic experience. It can also result in a conscious somatic experience called pleasure, which is different from the subconscious experience. Indeed the endorphin response that results from orgasm, like any opiate, reduces the somatic experience of the body. This is one reason why virginity, in those like Christ, Joseph and Mary, who fully accept the truth of their bodies enables a gentleness of heart that is to be praised. It also gives them an innocence, freedom, self esteem and interior peace. A gift that all really want. Another is that they have no interior sharing with another person and are totally at one with God enabling them to more effectively love.
Of course we need to produce children and sex is the means of doing this. As Tony Abbott rightly claims virginity is a gift because it enables a woman to give herself fully to her husband, not just in intent but actually. Sex and the loss of virginity is not just the loss of a hymen of course but the unification of two bodies into one, and it is only a virgin that can do this completely because if she has more that one lover there is an intrapsychic conflict that can never be undone. This inhibits a woman from giving herself totally to her husband, even when she wants to and men are very much aware of this at an implicit level. I have argued that this is the result of the incorporation of sperm antigens into a woman’s body as this explanation is a much more complete explanation of the real bonding effects of sex than puerile explanations such as oxytocin and the pleasure principle for example. As one can see from this a woman who has not had sex until she marries will “know” only the body of only herself and her husband in a subconscious sense and she will not have to suppress anything. This is a real freedom and innocent for her and creates the interior beauty that all men desire in their wives.
A simple analogy would be that the way that a woman who has deliberately sliced of her arm may well love her husband but she is not able to perform her role as effectively as if she had two arms. The arguments about morality also get rolled out and they are used to muddy the waters. All rejection of truth is sin and indeed sexual immorality is sin but the important issue here is that while God willingly forgives sins such as self mutilation He doesn’t give people such as the woman above her arm back. So it is with virginity. It is for the sake of a woman’s well-being and happiness that women and leaders in society should seek to protect those who are still innocent. This is why most people, like George Brandis and Tony Abbott, want to put their children’s welfare before their own, not clinging to stubborn rationalizations for their own youthful folly. Unfortunately selfishness rules today and many are only to happy to sacrifice the innocent for selfish reasons.
This is real and thousands of years of experience and Divine revelation argue that virginity is important although why it is important is not clear and science is yet to unveil all the mechanisms involved.
(name withheld)
Virginia, I thought your article was brilliant and spot on. I read it in the Canberra Times and unfortunately can't get the copy off your website as only the first two paras appear. Would love to send it to some friends.
ReplyDeleteReligion is primitive superstition. Its adherents are insecure anti-intellectuals, politically motivated schemers or perverted individuals with sinister motivation. And none of them would know God if She bit them on the arse.
ReplyDeleteAbbott is a gift to Rudd.
The article makes a very big and rather unsubstantiated leap between a "gift" and a "commodity". When people like Abbott suggests that virginity is a gift, they mean a gift from the christian deity to people. Not a gift for female to give to a deflowering male.
ReplyDeleteRather it is a like a fondue set. Yaweh hands every boy and girl at birth a set. You can enjoy the cheesy goodness. But stick on ebay and no-one wants it. Take it to the charity shop and they won't take it. It has only value to you. You cherish it because it's yours, not because you can give it away.
Our society is not concerned with the physical manifestations of female virginity. Sex ed means youngsters know that hymen integrity is a very poor indicator of virginity. If society was concerned about these crude physical manifestations then the concept of these (admittedly trite) 'purity rings' would be (at least partially) undermined.
Further, when these christianists carp on about virginity it applies to the males as well as the females. If Tony speaks of 'daughters' it is only because he has 3 daughters (that he knows of).
People, of course, should be free to explore their sexuality (of whatever persuasion) within or without the confines of marriage (or whatever), but promoting virginity to youngsters until they get over any religious influences, start having hormones getting replaced by common sense and can afford reliable contraception/STD prevention has got to be a good thing in terms of a fulfilling sexual life that is less prone to disappointment, disease and unwanted pregnancy.
It's got to be better than glamourising teenage sexuality.
Now excuse me, as I have just defended Tony Abbott I have to go and poke my eyes out.
The comment below was emailed to me from a reader. I have not included the name.
ReplyDeleteDear Virginia
I just wanted to congratulate you on today's article (Canberra Times). You put in to words so well the thoughts I have had for many years. I was brought up in the generation where you were told that men like nice girls (for playing around) but they marry good girls. I remember when my first husband and I went to tell my parents we wanted to get married, my mother nearly fainted because she thought I was going to say that I was pregnant!
(name withheld)
The following comment was emailed from a reader. I have withheld the name.
ReplyDeleteVirginia,
In Saturday's CT you say 'the three most important figures in the Christmas story - Jesus, Mary and Joseph - apparently remain virgins all their life'.
Mary and Joseph were not virgins, because the Bible says that Jesus had several brothers and sisters. His brothers are mentioned in several Bible verses. Matthew 12:46, Luke 8:19, and Mark 3:31 say that Jesus’
mother and brothers came to see him. Matthew 13:55 says that Jesus had four brothers: James, Joseph, Simon and Judas. The next verse says that Jesus had sisters. In John 7:1-10 his brothers go to the festival while Jesus stays behind. In Acts 1:14 his brothers and mother are described as praying with the disciples. Galatians 1:19 mentions that James was Jesus’ brother.
I am not a christian.
regards,
(name withheld)
Hi Virginia, Life, thank Allah, God, Buddah etc etc is good, people with agendas, and the ones who claim to represent them, make it damn complicated, or at least they try to. Knock them down.
ReplyDeleteLove to do coffee one day.
Greg
I was harsh and wrong in my last comment. There are good, honest, authentic people who practice religion.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gF2XX-dJm1
Wow, are you really bitter about something. I am an Australian and have just begun working with Middle Eastern people here in Canberra. And, I have asked them alot about their culture and their religion. Maybe you should have a look at their culture and ask them how they feel about the burqa. In fact, I have some students who wear the full face. They seem happy to me. Or should I say are not questioning it. If you want to write articles calling for the burqa to be banned in Australia, the I also suggest you call in the Australian Government, Australian Society to cease promoting the multicultural society. Otherwise you really are showing ignorance to a religion. Or maybe you should show some real courage and critisise the religion that is what dictates woman wearing the burqa, as I was told.
ReplyDeleteVirginia
ReplyDeleteWonderful article. I really don't understand the need for community leaders like Tony to use the issue as an trojan horse for ideology. Your right I suspect that the passing of ones virginity is probably a slightly painful affair full of difficult human emotions on both sides.